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Improving Clarity: Editing Suggestions for Enhanced Readability

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Original Text:

This passage is not too clear and see have some errors. The first sentence starts with 'but', which suggests a contrast that doesn't appear in the rest of the text. Furthermore, phrases like 'so much better than' and 'I think it was' are colloquialisms, suggesting an informal tone rather than academic or professional content.

Reworked Text:

The clarity of this passage could be improved substantially by addressing certn issues present throughout its structure. For instance, the utilization of a conjunction such as 'but' at the beginning appears out of place in relation to the following sentences that do not provide explicit contrastive elements.

In addition, the casual phrasing found -such as comparisons like so much better than and phrases like I think it was-indicates an informal tone, which might be inappropriate for academic or professional contexts where a more formal is preferred.

Revised Text:

The clarity of this passage stands to improve significantly by rectifying certn structural flaws present throughout its content. Notably, the use of 'but' as the initial conjunction may seem misplaced in light of subsequent sentences that lack an explicit contrasting element.

Furthermore, the casual linguistic style evident within the text-the utilization of colloquial expressions like so much better than and phrases such as I think it was-suggested a more relaxed tone suitable for informal contexts. However, such language might be out of place in academic or professional settings where formal s are typically adhered to.

This reworked version mntns the essence of the while refining it into a clearer and potentially more appropriate format for academic or professional communication.
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